The wind in my sails...

As a parent, you never want to hear the words "your son/daughter has "X"" no matter how big or small the problem. I honestly thought I was prepared for the results.But when the specialist reviewed the results of the EEG and said "monkey" has Epileptic tendencies, my heart sunk.The wind went completely out out of my sails, if you will.One moment you have a happy healthy child and the next your life is filled with anxiety and uncertainty.

Don't get me wrong "Monkey" ,except for the occasional seizure, is perfectly fine.Its not like she has them on a daily basis.She has had three in her entire life.But I went from only having the usual parenting worries to now having to make sure she gets her medication everyday,having to make sure that people know that she has this "condition" in case she has one when I am not there,be cautious of her swimming and the list goes on.

My mind does not process things on a day to day basis.It tries to process things based on an entire life time.So you can see very quickly how it has become very overwhelming for me all at once. I have never gone around day after day wondering is she going to have another one??life just carried on. But now because it has a name I find myself staring at her and wondering when the next one will come.Will she be with out me? Will she hurt herself? Will she be scared?

Sometimes in the attempt to calm your fears I think they give you far too much information to digest and 75% of it doesn't even pertain to your child.So in trying to sift out the information it becomes too much to handle.

However do not worry family and friends.I will survive and I will get through this and life will go on. "Monkey" will continue to grow,be active and be smart. I just need a little time to absorb it all.

I didn't realize

I apologize for not being here in such a long time.Time seems to have gotten away from me.Not to mention this stupid cold that has taken over our household.Grrrr.

I have also been in some sort of "funk" lately.My picture taking fell by the wayside and I haven't had too many inspiring moments.I was a crazy picture taking fool.Now I can't seem to take any good pictures or at the very least, take a bad picture and make it look good.I am frustrated with my limited knowledge of GIMP (photo editing program) and have hit a plateau.I want to do more with them.I can use some photoshop plug ins but most don't work with GIMP. GIMP has all the capabilities of "photoshop" but there aren't that many "actions" that are already put together so you don't have to write your own scripts.

Anywho here is a couple of pictures just so you don't think I've totally fallen off the wagon!

P.S. There are a few more pictures that have potential and the results of one of my projects (If I can finish it off this weekend)

Goodbye February!

Good bye February!Don't let the door hit you on the way out! Oh, I know you'll be back next year. But for now I am just going to be thankful that its a long,long way off.

Belt

This past weekend I actually had to go out and purchase a belt!I haven't owned a belt since sometime in the 80's when it was fashionable to wear huge, oversized ones on the outside of an equally oversized sweater.

The reason for this purchase?To hold my pants up of course! My hard work is paying off.(Albeit still a lot slower than I anticipated, but whatever.) My problem is that I haven't lost enough in the right places to warrant going down a size but it is just enough that my pants feel like they are dragging on the ground like those ever so charming "skater" pants.It drives me crazy.I can't imagine it looks ummmm... shall we say pleasant, watching me take two steps and then hike them up,take two steps,hike them up,repeat. And really ,I don't particularly enjoy the sight of other peoples underwear (thong or otherwise),so what would make me think that others would enjoy it!

My only issue with this otherwise functional piece is when you really,really have to go to the bathroom.Its just one extra step between you and the porcelain throne. Not exactly my idea of fun.Oh well hopefully this will be a short phase and I will be able to go down to the next size.Here's hopin' anyway.

February

I'll bet you can't guess what I've been dreaming of lately?! Well I will let you in on a little secret...It sure isn't snow and cold and ice, thats for sure.Spring is on my mind these days.Despite my every effort I just can't seem to love this horribly long month of February.I must admit, I did manage to make it through January reasonably unscathed this time around.But the moment February hit, all bets were off.The never ending days of fog and gloominess did me in.To the point that I just wanted to stay bundled up and sleep the rest of this month away.It didn't help that I attended my cousins funeral and then throw in the 2nd anniversary of my mom's death on top of that.I'm sorry winter lovers I just can't do it.
I am thankful that the days are getting longer.But hurry up calender,let's turn the page.There is so much to look forward to."Pumpkin's" second birthday,the warm sun on my face,green things appearing,the "new" smell,the first rainfall.These things make me smile.*sigh*

For now we just have to deal with February and a little bit of this......