Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The wind in my sails...

As a parent, you never want to hear the words "your son/daughter has "X"" no matter how big or small the problem. I honestly thought I was prepared for the results.But when the specialist reviewed the results of the EEG and said "monkey" has Epileptic tendencies, my heart sunk.The wind went completely out out of my sails, if you will.One moment you have a happy healthy child and the next your life is filled with anxiety and uncertainty.

Don't get me wrong "Monkey" ,except for the occasional seizure, is perfectly fine.Its not like she has them on a daily basis.She has had three in her entire life.But I went from only having the usual parenting worries to now having to make sure she gets her medication everyday,having to make sure that people know that she has this "condition" in case she has one when I am not there,be cautious of her swimming and the list goes on.

My mind does not process things on a day to day basis.It tries to process things based on an entire life time.So you can see very quickly how it has become very overwhelming for me all at once. I have never gone around day after day wondering is she going to have another one??life just carried on. But now because it has a name I find myself staring at her and wondering when the next one will come.Will she be with out me? Will she hurt herself? Will she be scared?

Sometimes in the attempt to calm your fears I think they give you far too much information to digest and 75% of it doesn't even pertain to your child.So in trying to sift out the information it becomes too much to handle.

However do not worry family and friends.I will survive and I will get through this and life will go on. "Monkey" will continue to grow,be active and be smart. I just need a little time to absorb it all.

1 comment:

Two Mittens said...

argh! I already typed a comment but then I lost it...
It's a lot to digest for sure. Who needs one more thing to worry about?? It would be nice if she simply outgrows it without much fuss!
I think the amazing thing is how little it seems to phase the kids themselves. I don't imagine it will slow your Monkey down much at all!
We'll keep you in our prayers.