Scotch tape

They say that smell is one of the strongest senses when it comes to triggering a memory.In my case I think it is probably true.I have a good memory but it is short.

Today as I was wrapping brightly colored gifts for my sweet, angelic children (*ahem*), I caught a whiff of the tape.
It was like running head first into the "ghost of Christmas past".The smell of Scotch tape reminds me of my Grandpa.
Just in case you were wondering, old people do not smell like Scotch tape! Anyway, now that we have that established,back to the story.

As I was saying, it reminds me of my Grandpa.I remember his present wrapping station that he set up on the big long table in the basement.With his little hand drawn sign that said "No peeking!" I can still picture him sitting there, wrapping each gift with great precision.The corners were sharp, the paper was perfectly lined up and the smell of the tape filled the air.It always amazed me how he could get it just right.No wrinkles or anything.Even the tape was "just so"

Me,I have no patience for wrapping.If the paper is on and stuck together then thats good enough for me! It comes off in 30 seconds or less.So what's the big, deal huh?

I remember sitting beside him and listening to him talk and tell his silly jokes.He let me put the colored ribbons on or let me put my finger on the ribbon to hold it still. Thats just the way he was.Aways had time to listen and to teach and to love his grandkids. I miss you "Foxy".

Isn't it funny how such an inanimate object such as tape can open such a treasure.....

All I want for Christmas is my four front teeth

I've had lots of things to say lately but the Internet for the lap top has not been cooperating. I have had to impatiently wait patiently for my dear hubby to fix it.I could have used the desk top, but then there would have been no pictures.What fun is that?Its like ice cream with no chocolate syrup!

Any who... "Monkey" will be wishing for her four front teeth for Christmas this year.Why you ask? Well it has everything to do with a small blonde 2 year old and her perfectly placed forehead on "Monkey's" face.Yep she head butted her. Accidentally of course, but you want to talk rocks for brains, she has an extremely hard head.I have been on the receiving end of her head more times than I care to remember.

I actually didn't know for several days after that she had loosened "Monkey's" teeth.There was only a little bit of blood but that was from a cut on the inside of her lip.So I never thought anything of it until she kept telling me her tooth was loose. Me being the wonderful parent that I am, brushed it aside because you know kids,they have a million and one stories up there sleeve.So I just nodded and said "uh huh". Then one day I saw her pushing at her teeth with her tongue and they moved.So I stuck my finger in and sure enough they were loose.Not one, but two (or at least I thought). Chalk up another one for bad parental judgement.*sigh*

"Monkey" already had an appointment at the dentist for other reasons so I just waited the extra couple days.They looked at them and said they would have to come out.All four. FOUR??!!.They scheduled the extraction for the following week.

I think I was more of a basket case than "Monkey" was about the whole situation.Partially because they recommended that I not tell her about it.The rest because I had know idea how she would react.She has only had one other needle in her life (other than vaccinations) and she went into a seizure right after.I had to sit out in the waiting room which was good and bad.Good because I don't think I could have kept it together but bad because I couldn't comfort her if she was scared.

She was very brave.Much better than her mommy.No tears,no seizures,nothing.When I came to get her she was calmly laying in her chair watching the cartoon and wearing cool sun glasses.Four tiny teeth lay on the dental tray.
The good news is that the dentist informed me that when they pulled the teeth there were no roots.Meaning they were already being absorbed in preparation for the new teeth to come in.He also showed me on the xray that her new teeth were just under the surface of her gums.So chances are she won't have to wait two years for her teeth to come in. Five is early for adult teeth but still with in the realm of normal.She just wants to do everything early!

Since this was a rather momentous occasion,I did not want to leave this job to the tooth fairy.I just don't think she could have dealt with this situation in the best way.So I took "Monkey" to do a little shopping.I allowed her to pick out a small gift of a toy or book just for being so brave.She picked out a new book.Then we went to have lunch. It was a yummy hot fudge sundae just for her.Then it was daddy's turn.DH is not usually emotionally effected like I am but even though he didn't out right say it, I think he was a bit shaken by the fact that his little girl had to go through something so big.But he went to the store and brought her some flowers.Brightly coloured daisies.She loved them.It made my heart melt that He wanted to do something special for her.

She has adapted quite well to not having teeth.You almost wouldn't know they were missing except when she smiles really big.This now brings me to my earlier post on why I am beginning to think that November is cursed! It was last year at this time that "Monkey" decided to play hair dresser and cut off her hair, along with baby sister's.This year it was knocked out teeth.Next year??I shudder to think what overly dramatic event will befall our eldest daughter.Lets hope it will be UNeventful!

Facebook junky

Gee wilikers boys and girls, you get on Facebook and you forget about your poor little blog.Poor sad little blog.Did you miss me?

I guess I only have a little bit to share and when I try to do it between two places, I have even less to say.Not to worry though.I like facebook and all.It lets me keep in contact with family that I wouldn't normally have a chance.But its loosing its sparkle.Its just plain boring sometimes.I know that this year has been pretty sparse for posts, but I will be back. I just have to unload some pictures off my camera and then boy do I have a story to tell. Like why I am beginning to think the end of November is cursed and why my dear sweet "monkey" will be singing,"All I want for Christmas is my four front teeth"

Bye for now

My name is....

I'm not sure if its just the day (grey and foggy) or what but I have been in one of my reflective moods again. The last few weeks I have been struggling with being envious and discontent.Oh I know everyone struggles with it from time to time but this time it has been a particularly tough journey.Combining envy with depression does not make a good combination.

So first off all I would like to stand up and say, "Hi my name is Kerry and I am a shopoholic". Yes it is true.While I never buy stuff on credit or spend more money than what we have.I buy stuff not out of necessity but because I can.It has become a comfort/boredom thing.My children's drawers are so full of clothes that I can barely close them,not to mention I have to wash them all!Their shelves are lined with toys they barely even glance at and again who ends up picking them up?But Its like I feel this sense of obligation to them.But the only thing I am creating will be little monsters that have the "gimmes".I am doing them a disservice instead of creating a spirit of thankfulness for the things they have.

Growing up we didn't have a lot of money and quite frankly money was an extremely difficult issue in our household.So any money I did get, which was very rarely, I saved it and made very thoughtful considerations about what I would use it for.So what happened?The pendulum swung the other way.I started working at 16 and I was still cautious with it but was a little more free with how I spent it.Then once I went through school and I started working it almost became an entitlement."I spent my entire childhood with hardly any money, now I am going to spend it on me!" and I did.I don't buy myself much any more but I do spend a lot on the girls and eating out and various other useless things.Now the only thing I have to show for it is the unhappiness that "stuff" creates.

I have a small house so I am either wishing I had a bigger house or I am so overwhelmed by "stuff".Always tripping over it,washing it,moving it from one place to another,buying storage things to stream line it.Sometimes I just want to hide in the corner. I often think about "the olden days" when they had one place setting per person two outfits each,one for work and one for Sunday and maybe one or two small toys for each child. Now society says you need more!If a little makes you happy a lot will make you happier!But it does not.Yet I can not seem to break free of this cycle.I have bought society's lie hook, line and sinker.

We have never had serious money problems.but at the end of the day where has all the money gone?We are existing.Walking a fine line between being ok and/or with one big push we could be at the bottom.I don't want to live like that.Under the thumb of "stuff".Its too hard and too stressful. I have so much,yet I struggle to find value in it.I take it for granted and one day it will be gone.Either through circumstance or death.I can't take it with me.Why do I need it?, why do I want it?

Sorry to be depressing.I'm just trying to put words to my thoughts.Not expecting an answer.Just trying to come to grips with things.One day I hope that I will learn the lesson of contentment but right now I struggle.

Giving thanks

Well, it is that time of year again. Thanksgiving.More often than not the only thing that people celebrate is the fact that it is a long weekend.(I include myself in this too) The very meaning of this day is almost lost amid the turkey and apple pie....(I'm making myself hungry just thinking about it)

To be quite honest sometimes I really don't feel like being thankful.Why is my mom not here to celebrate?Why is life so hard sometimes?Why can't things be easy once in a while?How is it that other people seem to have so much more? like a bigger house,vacations ect. and I can't even go somewhere for a weekend?

But then when I am finished my pity party I remember:

1.I have a home to live in.No matter how small,it is mine and we are sheltered.
2.My refrigerator and cupboards have food in them
3.Even though I hate washing them, we have clothes to wear.
4.I am a wife of a wonderful,loving husband who takes care of me.
5.I am a mother of two wonderful little girls.Whom I love dearly.
6.I am able to stay home with them when so many others are struggling to make ends meet with a two income household.
7.I have many friends and family that I get to be with and that care about me.
8.I have been given the gift of creativity and I love to use it.
9.We are all healthy.
10.Most importantly I am a child of God and because he loves me and I him.There is more than enough to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I am sorry......again

Yep.... its me again.Down on my knees,groveling,begging forgiveness yet again for my lengthy absence.I am SOOOOOORRRRY! Am I forgiven?

Even if I am not I thought I would fill you in a little on what I have been up to this summer .*ahem* I use the term "summer" very loosely.Yes like the thousands of other people I am whining about the weather.Thats what we do isn't it? Granted I am not extremely fond of anything above 25C, as I tend to be very susceptible to heat stroke, but it sure would have been nice not to have to turn the furnace on in the middle of summer.
The deck which seems to have taken a zillion times longer to put together is nearing completion.Hurray!DH just finished wiring in the last of the pot lights and boy do they look nice.It won't get painted until next year but that was at the recommendation of the guy at Home Hardware.

I got a cool new bike this year.A single speed, old-fashioned looking one with a basket.I haven't been on a bike very much since I had my bike accident in 2000.So when I took my first ride I felt a bit like a little kid just learning to ride a bike.

My little garden has been at the mercy of the weather and the deer.If they weren't so darn cute I would have to kick some "Bambi" butt! They decided that my garden made a wonderful salad bar and helped themselves to my peas and beans.I managed to get some off the plants but they have not been very flavorful.The up and downs of the temperatures didn't do them any favors.The only thing I might get to enjoy is the potatoes.
My front flower garden was amazing though.I had the best year for sweet peas ever.And I had numerous compliments from the neighbours and the bank employees that walk by everyday.

I completed several sewing projects that I have had waiting for a long time.Like curtains for my bathroom,a night gown for "pumpkin", and two summer dresses for "monkey".
We did manage to take a short vacation to B.C. this year which was very enjoyable.We visited DH parents in Valemount for a couple of days and then made our way south to a campground just outside Merritt.Despite the smoke from the fires it was nice.We also made a day trip to Kelowna and visited a couple interesting places like the Lavender farm and the girls loved the water park.On the way home we stopped at a roadside fruit stand and brought home 20lbs of peaches,some cherries and a few apples.
I sliced up and froze the peaches.I then made my first ever jelly from the nanking cherries in our front yard and it turned out to be pretty good.Now I can add jelly making to the things I have tried.

My Birthday has come and gone and I certainly won't add it to my "most memorable" list but none the less I am a year older.Wiser?Maybe a little.

That brings you up to date WHEW!

a promise is a promise

I know ,I know, I promised pictures of the deck and various other things.Well the deck is taking FOREVER!!! We only are able to do bits and pieces of it on Saturdays and only when dear husband is not working.So in other words not too many of those have been free either.At least it has a non leaking roof, stairs and railings.I'm also pretty excited about my new acquisition.A new paint sprayer!

Don't laugh too hard.I happen to like tools.In fact I consider it a "date" to go wandering around hardware stores.They have always held a fascination for me.I don't much care for the electrical aisle or the plumbing aisle but paint ,wood and tools get me really excited!Not to mention the home improvement section.I have not however been able to try out the afore mentioned tool yet because though I may like tools, I am not the best user of them until someone is around to supervise.So it still remains in its plastic carrying case unmarred by the white paint it will eventually hold.Oh the possibilities of this new little machine.

I am slowly accumulating my own little stash of things.I have my very own mitre saw,a snazzy level,an oh so pretty drop cloth,hammers ,a tape measure,not to mention two very pretty colbalt blue clamps.All held together in a charming tool box.Now, my only issue is keeping MY tools as MY tools.There have been several occasions when certain items have gone missing and have mysteriously ended up in someones work van.Kind of annoying when you go to use something and its missing.The guilty party gives me a sheepish grin and goes and fishes it out for me.I guess I will keep him anyway.Someone needs to help me use these things!

Any how, enough about the tools here are a couple more pictures.Slightly closer to being done...

Its been a long time

Wow, its been a super long time since I've been here.Its not that I haven't been on the computer,its just I haven't had very interesting things to talk about.The past month has been busy. Raising kids (more often than not wanting to give them away to the first taker),destruction of the old back step,building a new deck and pretending I know what i'm doing when it comes to planting my flower beds,planting my vegetable garden and completely ignoring the fact that the inside of my house resembles a bomb sight,swimming lessons,zoo trips,my anniversary......

Don't even get me started on how bad the back step was.Ummm...Ok I'll tell you anyways.Its a wonder the thing was standing at all.I always felt as though I was going to fall through the floor and now I know why! Not one board on the frame underneath was a whole piece.They were all spliced together (and very badly I might add).It was in no way shape or form anchored to the house and all the supports were sitting on top of the dirt instead of in it.That also goes for the supports that were holding up the roof.Yikes!The railing was a left over piece of pipe that was rusty,the roof sagged and all the wood was rotting like crazy.But now we have a beautiful deck, which is still not finished ,but that is another story!But at least I know it is well built.I should know ,I hammered and nailed and drilled and screwed, crawled under the deck and layed on my back in the dirt and slammed my fingers with the hammer more that once.Don't worry I couldn't have done any of this alone. My dear sweet hubby was there too.and maybe if I talk to him sweetly he will build me a porch swing too.

I haven't taken too many pictures lately.But when the deck is closer to being finished I will show you.For now... does anyone want two small kids that have a love of scissors and hair cutting ???? Ok, Ok just kidding.(about the giving them away,NOT the hair cutting thing!)Grrrrr.They are going to be bald until they are thirty!!!!!

Fell of the wagon....just a bit

Okay,so I am going to admit it to all of blogland.....I fell off the wagon.Just briefly though.I promise.I can't give up now not when I have done so well.I have lost nearly 13lbs so far.

This week sent me into a bit of a tailspin and I just couldn't get motivated to exercise.(ramming a 1/4 of nail into my foot didn't help much either)Then what makes it worse is that the Wii board has the nerve to say "too busy to workout yesterday huh?"
It makes you want to yell at it and say "shut up you stupid thing, you know nothing about what is going on in my life!"But some how I just don't think it would care.It is just amazingly smug and quite enjoys taunting you like some schoolyard bully.*sigh*

Just for the record I haven't avoided all forms of exercise.Just the ones that involved the Wii board.I did spend one of the days digging up "crap" grass(Oooo did I say that out loud? I mean "crab" grass)on the other side of my front fence in order to extend my flower beds. And boy did my muscles complain about that one.I demonstrated to "monkey",numerous times,how to use her skipping rope and you know, lifting the turkey from fridge to counter,from counter to oven and oven back to counter (that counts right?)

Anyways I have my feet back under me.Both literally and figuratively.So I will be back at it again.So here's to the next 10lbs.....

The wind in my sails...

As a parent, you never want to hear the words "your son/daughter has "X"" no matter how big or small the problem. I honestly thought I was prepared for the results.But when the specialist reviewed the results of the EEG and said "monkey" has Epileptic tendencies, my heart sunk.The wind went completely out out of my sails, if you will.One moment you have a happy healthy child and the next your life is filled with anxiety and uncertainty.

Don't get me wrong "Monkey" ,except for the occasional seizure, is perfectly fine.Its not like she has them on a daily basis.She has had three in her entire life.But I went from only having the usual parenting worries to now having to make sure she gets her medication everyday,having to make sure that people know that she has this "condition" in case she has one when I am not there,be cautious of her swimming and the list goes on.

My mind does not process things on a day to day basis.It tries to process things based on an entire life time.So you can see very quickly how it has become very overwhelming for me all at once. I have never gone around day after day wondering is she going to have another one??life just carried on. But now because it has a name I find myself staring at her and wondering when the next one will come.Will she be with out me? Will she hurt herself? Will she be scared?

Sometimes in the attempt to calm your fears I think they give you far too much information to digest and 75% of it doesn't even pertain to your child.So in trying to sift out the information it becomes too much to handle.

However do not worry family and friends.I will survive and I will get through this and life will go on. "Monkey" will continue to grow,be active and be smart. I just need a little time to absorb it all.

I didn't realize

I apologize for not being here in such a long time.Time seems to have gotten away from me.Not to mention this stupid cold that has taken over our household.Grrrr.

I have also been in some sort of "funk" lately.My picture taking fell by the wayside and I haven't had too many inspiring moments.I was a crazy picture taking fool.Now I can't seem to take any good pictures or at the very least, take a bad picture and make it look good.I am frustrated with my limited knowledge of GIMP (photo editing program) and have hit a plateau.I want to do more with them.I can use some photoshop plug ins but most don't work with GIMP. GIMP has all the capabilities of "photoshop" but there aren't that many "actions" that are already put together so you don't have to write your own scripts.

Anywho here is a couple of pictures just so you don't think I've totally fallen off the wagon!

P.S. There are a few more pictures that have potential and the results of one of my projects (If I can finish it off this weekend)

Goodbye February!

Good bye February!Don't let the door hit you on the way out! Oh, I know you'll be back next year. But for now I am just going to be thankful that its a long,long way off.

Belt

This past weekend I actually had to go out and purchase a belt!I haven't owned a belt since sometime in the 80's when it was fashionable to wear huge, oversized ones on the outside of an equally oversized sweater.

The reason for this purchase?To hold my pants up of course! My hard work is paying off.(Albeit still a lot slower than I anticipated, but whatever.) My problem is that I haven't lost enough in the right places to warrant going down a size but it is just enough that my pants feel like they are dragging on the ground like those ever so charming "skater" pants.It drives me crazy.I can't imagine it looks ummmm... shall we say pleasant, watching me take two steps and then hike them up,take two steps,hike them up,repeat. And really ,I don't particularly enjoy the sight of other peoples underwear (thong or otherwise),so what would make me think that others would enjoy it!

My only issue with this otherwise functional piece is when you really,really have to go to the bathroom.Its just one extra step between you and the porcelain throne. Not exactly my idea of fun.Oh well hopefully this will be a short phase and I will be able to go down to the next size.Here's hopin' anyway.

February

I'll bet you can't guess what I've been dreaming of lately?! Well I will let you in on a little secret...It sure isn't snow and cold and ice, thats for sure.Spring is on my mind these days.Despite my every effort I just can't seem to love this horribly long month of February.I must admit, I did manage to make it through January reasonably unscathed this time around.But the moment February hit, all bets were off.The never ending days of fog and gloominess did me in.To the point that I just wanted to stay bundled up and sleep the rest of this month away.It didn't help that I attended my cousins funeral and then throw in the 2nd anniversary of my mom's death on top of that.I'm sorry winter lovers I just can't do it.
I am thankful that the days are getting longer.But hurry up calender,let's turn the page.There is so much to look forward to."Pumpkin's" second birthday,the warm sun on my face,green things appearing,the "new" smell,the first rainfall.These things make me smile.*sigh*

For now we just have to deal with February and a little bit of this......

Going Down

I have definitely been getting a lot out of my Christmas gift this year. My Wii fit plus has been my constant companion since the day I hooked it up (ok hubby hooked it up).I have not missed a day yet! I'm not losing weight as quickly as I would like and there have been a few times i've wondered, "why am I doing this?" But I keep going.Partially I don't want to let my family down.They invested a lot of money to buy this for me.The biggest part and more importantly I think,is for me.My weight kept ballooning with each pregnancy and then again when I was taking anti-depressants.(my body really does not like them).The heavier I got, the more depressed I got.You see the cycle happening?I guess I just finally got to that point where something had to give.

I must admit I hate all forms of exercise .It is booooring.I have just never found anything that I enjoyed until now.The first time I came in contact with one of these Wii things was at DH sisters' place.I loved it. It was fun and you burned calories at the same time with out realizing your actually doing "exercise".I like it because I don't have to go anywhere except to my living room.I don't have to feel bad in front of others,I don't have to wait for equipment,I can go at my own pace and I can mix things up until my hearts content.I can do a good work out with the aerobics,yoga and strength training or we can just have fun playing games!

As I mentioned before I haven't been losing weight as quickly as I would like.But you also have to take into account that I am an instant gratification type person.So what is to slow for me is actually about right.I have lost nearly 6lbs in 4 weeks and the inches have been coming off all over the place.My stomach, which perpetually looked as if I was 6months pregnant (2 years after the fact) has now been reduced to something less. The clothes I have are starting to fit a lot better.(I've been trying to squeeze myself into the clothes I had because I just couldn't bear to go up another size)Even that lovely "flab" that hangs from the bottom of my arms is starting to shrink.

All in all it has been a positive experience.I just need to keep going and not give in to those little "voices" that tell me "you've never stuck with anything through to the end before.What makes you think you can do it now?" or "Its so much easier just to give up and blame your problem on someone or something else".Maybe one day I will be brave and post a picture.For now I'm just going to keep my focus on the goal I set.

Many Projects

So....Remember when I said I had a million little projects I wanted to accomplish sometime this year?I thought I would just share a FEW of them(other wise we would be here until NEXT year).

This charming fabric I picked up at Walmart before Christmas.I got it for no other reason than it was pretty.I didn't have a clue what I was actually going to do with it.



(OK I admit, I cheated. I actually managed to accomplish One of the things on my list)
I made these two little skirts from the fabric.They turned out pretty good.In fact I even let the girls go out in public with them!

Then there is my bathroom. See the window? It is completely naked except for some little hand tinted photographs of flowers that once belonged to Grandma and a little candle holder.I have had the fabric to make curtains for this window for over a year now.I think its about time I did something about it.




Next there is this little chair.I picked it up at a garage sale for $2.00.I loved it.It reminds me of something they use it the decorating magazines that I adore so much.I know it doesn't look very pretty right now.But you see, that is my point.I have been intending on painting it and reupholster it.But here it sits , a couple years later,exactly as it was



In my kitchen is a little pantry that I made all by myself (puff out chest).But I have never liked the door.It is plain and flat and well....ugly.So my plan is to put on some moulding and fill in the center with chalkboard paint (another idea from my decorating magazines).I have the moulding,I have the paint now I just have to do it!




And last but certainly not least is my fire place mantel.Right now it screams unorganized mess!I want to do something with it to draw your eye to it.Im just not sure what I want to do with it yet.I have to be careul what I put there.Because a certain small person climbs the back of the chair to perch herself on it.So it definately can not be anything that I would be devastated if it fell.



There are so many more things, but I'll try to keep you posted if I actually manage to get anything done!

Four

I realize that I am a few days late with this post.After all "Monkey's" birthday was on the 27th. The point I am trying to make is.... who gave her permission to turn 4?It certainly wasn't me.I have given her strict instructions (which she ALWAYS follows to the letter *ahem*)that she was to stop growing older !But being the independent little person she is,she completely ignored me. Some how I was able to deal with her turning 1,2 and 3.Those years are full of exciting changes.You know,walking talking,getting a personality.Those things.But for some reason 4 makes me want to pull back on the reigns.Because 4 leads to 20!Yes I know thats a little bit dramatic but.... (I have no rational answer to give). This past year has had its moments of frustration and complete awe."Monkey" is strong willed and hard headed but on the flip side of the coin she continues to amaze me every day with her capacity for learning.She is a little sponge.I have had many people comment on how smart she is for her age.( just a little bit of pride here).Building,numbers,writing letters are her things and every day she moves just a little bit closer to reading.She can sound out a few short words on her own.I get the feeling she understands a lot more than she lets on.But I don't push her.She doesn't like being told what to do.So she does it when she feels like it. Some of her favorites over this past year have been Disney's "Little Einsteins",her Othello game(she can't really play it but she loves to manipulate the pieces),the computer,dinosaurs, helping to make cookies and the "Blue" store(AKA Walmart).Me thinks she has a little bit of her father in her.

I look forward to seeing who she will blossom into.But does she have to get older?????